:: FOREVER AND ALMOST ALWAYS ::

Happy Saturday peeps! I actually quite like the fact that I sound like I'm talking to myself 'cos I understand how nobody reads my blog anymore but oh well, at least I still find blogging really fun, hah. Days after the surgery couldn't go any worse. I've been eating just too much of porridge I feel that I'm currently lacking some essential nutrients 'cos I sleep a lot these days! Yesterday was the worst day by far. The family and I went to my gramma's house and my relatives couldn't stop asking me if I stayed up to friggin' study 'cos all I did there was sleep. Somehow the pain has spread to the entire left part of my head that I could even feel a tingle in my left eye, and that also caused my head to throb like shit. I actually brought my works there to finish, especially all the loathsome piles of Chinese works that I've been piling up for weeks, but I seriously couldn't bring myself up to do some serious work 'cos I was in horrendous paaaaain. God knows how long would I still need to bear with all these nightmares :( .

Besides all those pain that I'm facing right now, I also have another problem that I've been quite worried of since last year but never dared to tell anyone. Since this blog is pretty much like my personal blog that nobody reads anymore, I shall just voice out what's been troubling me a lot. In around June last year, my back started to give me real shit 'cos I felt that I couldn't sit or stand with my normal posture. I felt so uncomfortable while having to stay static (especially during meditation in yoga class) 'cos a part of my back would be giving me a feeling that it was bending more to one side. I was a little bit scared at first 'cos I know myself, I care a lot about my posture and I'm definitely not someone who stays in front of the monitor and cares less even if my back starts to hunch. I didn't bother to tell anyone, especially my parents, 'cos I'm sure they would start lecturing me for staying in front of the laptop for too long, or that I would have to go for a checkup and the result would say I have an 'S' shape backbone like what you normally see on newspapers (I know I'm just being paranoid and all but you will never understand how much of discomfort I'm feeling almost every day with it). Also, I never like to tell people about my own predicaments until it gets so serious that it's too late to be solved, hell yeah stubborn is my middle name, but I was born this way.

So recently, I feel that my left hand is no longer as flexible as how it used to be and I feel that everything's connected. My back, and my left hand. My left hand is so tensed up recently that at times, it starts shivering when I give too much work on it. The reason why I started all this crap is because of my music classes just now. During piano class, I couldn't do good rotations on my left hand and I played crap. I got a little moody after that 'cos I felt that I couldn't control my left hand anymore. And during violin class, I couldn't do good vibrato and teacher had to emphasize so many times to me about having to relax my left hand 'cos my vibratos were all very stiff. Haih, I don't know what's wrong with all of these but every day I have the same wish, that is to get over with all these discomforts. It's been one year and dear blog, give me some wise advice?

On the first day of Raya, my dad spontaneously suggested for a one-day trip to Bukit Tinggi early in the morning. Was feeling extremely groggy and lethargic 'cos I didn't have a good night sleep that night due to the pain but hey, Aquarians love surprises the most! I love having spontaneous plans, hah. During our journey, I got really sick of being stuck at the same place for hours 'cos the jam was yeah, that bad. Should have known that first day of Raya would cause such terrible congestion but oh well, daddy didn't bother why should I? To be frank, Bukit Tinggi was GOD DAMN BORING and I will never ever go there again. I mean, hey Malaysia has such beautiful place why can't the government invest more on it or put in more effort on improving it? Colmar Tropicale has got nothing inside even the desserts that we had in Boulangerie were terrible. My sister commented that the tiramisu cakes I made could go way beyond the level of the ones we had there. Bad, bad, bad. However, I seemed to be having tons of fun in the photos! Haha, always have to look good in photos even when my boredom is at the maximum level kay ;) .