:: BLOW YOUR MIND ::

Hey peeps! Tomorrow's Good Friday and it's a holiday for my school so yea, I'm here to blog and my homeworks are like, totally ditched ;) . So, today was our big day 'cos we had drama preliminary round during the last period. We were practising profusely from the 1st period and good thing was that, the teachers were so considerate that they were willing enough to sacrifice their period for us to practise. The theme for this year is 'Imagination'. I like the theme and our story is awesome. It's written by LingHui and even if we don't win, she is still the one who contributed the most. She's done more than what she should and hell yeah she's awesome like that :D !

The act was fine but Miss Alexis said we seemed to be rushing through everything, so it looked pretty chaotic at times. I personally think it's fine, though. Ryan acted very naturally and his facial expressions were really good, haha. TzeSheng could be a very bitchy diva and if he was born to be a little taller (sorry to be sarcastic, heh), I'm sure he's perfect to take Jack's role (Christian, the main male character). Crystal sang "I'm beautiful" by Christina Arguilera during her opera show in the act and it was hilarious. She had to move her body and do some seducing actions and I really have to give her a big thumbs-up, BRAVO! In short, I'm quite confident that we are able to make it to the final match which will be held in the auditorium even though our ending was kind of ruined. Here's a picture I stole from Joyce on Facebook :) .

So, how's life recently? I'm trying my utmost to accept the fact that I am no longer a KC-ian and life goes on come what may. I so so so need to look at the positive sides. There will be many other tough challenges in the future and I have to start training up myself to adapt to the environment. No point thinking of going back, rewinding everything when it is freakin' impossible to go back, right? I'm really thankful to have my friends around when I needed to tell all of my discomfort, when I needed someone to be by my side, when I needed someone to make me feel better. You all rock. We knock down the obstacles together, and yes, we always do. Although I'm no longer studying together with you all, I'm still spiritually a part of KC and I feel the love, the care, the warmth from every single one of you. Kay, this is making me down 'cos I'm currently listening to 'Maybe' by Yiruma. I shall, stop.

Last Wednesday, red house members went for the lake run. Girls from class 2 had to finish the run within 7 minutes to gain 2 marks for the house. I felt guilty for skipping cross country run and 2 marks were deducted just because of my absence. Well, I wasn't the only one who skipped it but 2 marks are still marks. I should at least contribute some marks for the house even though I really hate to be in red house. I didn't have confidence to qualify at all but I told myself JUST KEEP ON RUNNING AND DON'T STOP. THINK OF THE MANTRA YOU LEARNED IN YOGA and dang, I was really thinking of the mantra (babanam, kevanam) during the run and surprisingly, it managed to calm me down a little. While I was gasping for air, while I felt like I would die of cardiac arrest in no time, while my legs were burning and they kept telling me to stop running, I PUSHED MYSELF and... I QUALIFIED!! Holey, I felt superbly great that words just can't describe. I can't run and my stamina sucks. Some people may think that qualifying the lake run is a piece of cake but to me, it is a piece of advance maths paper, HAHA.

Last Saturday, I had supper with HanYin and JieXi at IOI Boulevard and I had sooooo much fun just talking, talking and talking with them. We were talking so much that when it was 11.30pm, we were so shocked 'cos we thought it was only 10pm -.- . I love listening to how JieXi told us about the stress and all 'cos it made me reminisce how we've gone through all the stress together last year, especially the hard times we had for months before JUEC. I also enjoyed listening to HanYin telling us about how awesome it is to be in Catholic. Yea I've got to admit that I was jealous of both of them. One has a laid-back life and not being pressurized by the stress whereas one has a stressed up life which I really want right now. I was telling them how 'Banana' are the people in my school and they just couldn't stop laughing. We had supper at Zen, a new dessert restaurant next to Snowflakes. The desserts were yummy and the humongous chocolate banana toast we shared was simply mouthwatering! I'm looking forward to seeing more and MORE restaurants like this opening in IOI boulevard. It's such an awesome place to hang out with awesome friends ;) .

You can close the windows and darken your room,

and you can open the windows and let light in.

It is a matter of choice.

Your mind is your room.

Do you darken it

or

fill it with light?

xoxo

:: HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED ::

What's up people! I just came back from yoga class and I'm currently pretty energetic 'cos teacher taught us a posture which could make more blood flow into our brain, so yea, guess I should just update my blog right now. I was actually planning to finish up my homeworks by tonight. Unfortunately, I got stuck halfway when I was doing my Addmaths so I suppose I'll finish them tomorrow :) . Typical Emily.

Tomorrow is my school's Cross Country Run at Taman Botani Negara in Shah Alam and it's friggin' compulsory. We had Cross Country Trial on Wednesday and it was darn exhausting! The slopes, the downhills and all were undoubtedly torturing. I should have skipped the trial with Privitaa so I wouldn't have wasted so much energy and ended up being dizzy and famished. Plus, I have extreme muscle pain ALL OVER MY BODY. It wasn't easy to finish the run even though it was merely 5km of distance. Oh I suddenly remembered how proud I was to finish last year's Chinese independent schools' annual jogathon which was 10km long. Oh I feel successful :) . Kay, back to the topic. I'm skipping the run tomorrow and at first, I was quite worried of what kind of excuses should I tell if my house master, Puan Lily, asks me about it. Then, when school was dismissed just now, I received a message from Dentist Woon and she said I have an appointment with her in the morning tomorrow. Holy I felt indescribably great!

Last week, I went to Midvalley with Juppie Jup :) . We practically spent our time chatting, gossiping and EATING. We seriously spent a lot on FOOD but it was okay. I felt better to spend more money on FOOD than clothes and all. Speaking about food, I just remembered my bestest food mate/childhood friend, Suanne, who left for Australia on Monday. I feel really bad as I didn't get to hang out with her before she left. I knew her when I was 3 and we know each other just way too well. I can't imagine my life without her being in Malaysia for the next few months and I can only meet her when she comes back for a summer break in December. A few months sound like centuries to me. This is simply miserable and depressing :( .

Suanne left, and who is the next one? Tharchanaa. She's my best friend in Sri KL and I doubt she's the sole person who understands me best. She can totally understand how I feel being in Sri KL and I'm pretty sure no one has the same kind of feeling, except for Tharchanaa. She's leaving the school after the first term and I don't think I could survive in this damn school without her. At least for now, I could spend time with her before school starts and during break time even though we're in different classes. After the first term, I might not be looking forward to having recess anymore as she will not be around and I'll definitely feel more than plain lifeless.

I thought I could keep this issue in myself but I really needed to spill out everything. I know, I was the one who made the decision to leave Kuen Cheng. I have to admit that I hated the school and I wanted to leave under any circumstances. I thought leaving the school would be the best option and life would have a big awesome twist after I left. Unfortunately, everything has become worse after the worst. People ask me how do I feel being in Sri KL. Honestly, I always feel like not responding but normally I will say 'It's okay'. Frankly speaking, it's worse than HELL. Why do I hate it? I don't know, I JUST HATE IT. I don't even feel like going to school anymore. I feel like rotting at home and do nothing or if I were in school, I would be sleeping until I get BORED of sleeping. Or maybe, I WOULD RATHER HOMESCHOOLING than going to that darn school. I know everything's too late and I deserve to be in such condition as I was stubborn and naive. I didn't want to listen and I have always thought that I was right. Finally, I guess this is what all of you are curious of... Yes, I regretted leaving.

After so many weeks of hesitation and worries, I eventually summoned up my courage to ask my parents about returning. But as expected, they refused. I have never felt so useless and dumb before. Some of you in Kuen Cheng might think I'm crazy because over there, I will have to catch up with their Advance Maths, Physics, Bio and Chemistry which we as typical KBSM students will only get the chance to study these in University. Like what Tharchanaa said, 'You can share your problems on stress with your friends but you just can't share your problems on friendships with stress'. True and precise enough.

I'm a disappointment to my parents. I'm sorry and I know a thousand or a million of apologies are already nothing to them. They probably think that I'm making fun of them. Transferring out, then wanting to transfer back. I can't blame on anyone 'cos it's my fault. Guess I will have to be stuck in this school for 2 more years. I totally agree with what Miss Serene said, 'Once you got used to the stress, environment and the extremely strict rules in KC, you belong to KC and if you were to leave, it's like half your heart is being taken away'. Whoever is considering to transfer out, PLEASE, be blessed and don't end up like me, feeling regretful over all the stupid things I've done. Whoever is considering to get in, PLEASE, study hard for the entrance exam and you'll definitely thank the school for pushing you crazily and you can never find a school that could make you more of an all-rounded and organized person. Kuen Cheng is like home to me, but it WAS hell to me. What has gone wrong in me, seriously?

I wonder if YiLing is doing great in Sri Garden. Hub, how are you?

Can I leave it all behind?

'Cause I can't turn back.

xoxo