:: WANT YOU BACK ::

I sort of banned myself from using the laptop so that I don't get too distracted 'cos I wake up every day right next to it. However, I figured Friday night should be my laptop night so that my blog wouldn't get too dead. Not for the sake of getting more readers though but blogging as a part of my life is actually because that I love reading back my archives and I never want anything that is happening to me to be forgotten in the future. My mom always says I think too much about crappy and unnecessary things about my future and heh, she got me right. I can literally foresee my kids reading my blog, the blog that I started when I was form 1 (technically I started blogging when I was standard 3 but I deleted all the entries 'cos I thought they were simply absurd but boy would I know how much I regretted doing that!). 

Last Saturday night, my mom spontaneously asked if we wanted to watch GeMeiLia. Not a very well-known movie but definitely reminded me a lot about the days in Chinese primary school. Every single Chinese school students know perfectly how we felt every time the book came to our hands. It was golden, sounds like I'm exaggerating but I'm sure you see eye to eye with me if you come from a Chinese school too. I remember how the teachers always had to warn us that she would confiscate the newly-distributed GeMeiLia comics everytime we got it 'cos most of the time we would be giving them heads down being totally ignorant to their teaching but hey, the comics were seriously that addictive (not the current ones though. The author must have gotten out of ideas or something, no offence). I read it somewhere from the newspapers last year that there would be a movie for it and omg I was so elated! Surprisingly I didn't really look forward to it when they started showing the posters in cinemas, I think I'm growing up for real HAHA. So this time, my MOM was the one who was desperate to watch it (all moms who send their kids to Chinese primary schools know about GeMeiLia 'cos their kids never fail to nag them to subscribe for more and more issues. It's sort of an annual thing, hah!) even though ze sister, daddy and I didn't give her a very keen response. Eventually I thought we should just give her a chance 'cos she doesn't usually go to cinemas (but everytime she does she chooses the lamest movies ever!). Didn't put much expectations to it and when it started with a kiddy theme song, ze sister and I were like 'homg I can't believe we're watching this'. Yes, never EVER judge a book by its cover. The movie was astonishingly amazing and the humor was between the rating of lame and hilarious. I usually don't favour local movies 'cos I find their acting pretty bad but considering this movie consists of quite a number of children actors and actresses, they were pretty good and I think they deserve a thumbs-up! I didn't know I could get so entertained but I really did! Also, I felt that everyone who was watching it come from the same tree, like we're the spores of the same kind! Haha, but yea, GeMeiLia is definitely a Chinese primary school thing and I'm glad they have successfully made it into a movie, bringing back the grown ups back to primary school! Go watch it, never knew it would be so good. When we were heading out, the positive feedback that I heard from everywhere around me was unbelievable!

Oh and, before we went for the movie, we had Vietnamese dinner and it was quite disappointing. I suppose the foods weren't that bad but I expected more since the foods in the menu looked almost just the same as the ones that we had in Australia, the Vietnamese restaurant that you must make reservations weeks before! The standard was a big leap and the service was pretty bad too. Haha, oh well, at least I was quite satisfied with my lemongrass chicken chop rice! 2.5/5 jeng jeng jeng. 

This week has been a productive week. Set a target earlier to finish up Physics form 4 and I managed to start form 5 today! Was so proud of myself 'cos I have this sudden motivation boost in me as friends around me are sitting for trials already and that I feel god damn unprepared. So, so far I've only completed Chemistry form 4, Physics form 4 and Chinese MingJu form 5. Still SO SO MUCH left to cover up but I feel that it wasn't so bad that I've completed all these just in 2 weeks time, yayzers! 

On Thursday, I skipped school with YingHui for a study date in Taylor's Lakeside library. After a long analysis with her, we have come to a conclusion that Thursday is the best day to skip 'cos basically we do nothing on Thursdays (ok same goes to any other days but Thursday is as bad as getting rotten up in school, no joke). It was my first time in Lakeside and it was omg beautiful! I got superbly in love with the environment and also momentarily I felt like I was a uni student heh :) . The 5-floor library was so well equipped and man, I really got my head dug into my supposedly boring books 'cos it was comfortably silent, and of course, YingHui as a company was great with her wisdom and knowledge haha, she helped me a lot and I'm so thankful for that! For lunch, we walked around and I was amazed by how many restaurants they offer there! We ended up eating in Backofen which was highly recommended by her mom. The foods already looked crazily awesome in the menu. Hence, my huge dilemma in getting this or that :/ . I ended up ordering mushroom toast and okay, by looking at the picture below you would say something like what YingHui said, 'That's a bit sad right'. But IT TASTED SO HEAVENLY I almost teared up haha. And trust me, the portion looked small but it was just the right portion to fill up my tummy, JUST RIGHT! For desserts, we ordered blueberry crumble and oreo cheesecake. Too satisfying we couldn't continue studying after that because we were pretty much bloated at that time HAH. All in all, it was a great day with her and that I was plain glad I skipped school 'cos I managed to accomplish my plan! I'll be doing that next week again. Hmmmmm, think about the foods :D !

Saw a stitch that someone sketched on the table in Chemistry lab and 

we made Ryan challenge him by drawing a lilo next to it.

Tell me who wins!

Asked my transporter to drop me at Pacific Coffee right after school today

and was alone for the entire afternoon 

but the peace was the power that got me finish the entire Physics form 4!

Had chicken pie and Hazelnut cappuccino. Perfect ambiance, perfect music, perfect munch-ons. 

Also, daddy decided to accompany me after work too!

Day by day I get a little more desperate to owning Sam Tsui's Make It Up album. 

I'm dehydrating :( .

Geeky look just now during mua lonely study session ;) .

There's nothing left of you to remind me

But somehow you're still standing behind me

I'm trying hard to forget you

But my empty walls won't let me let you go

xoxo

:: BRING ME THE NIGHT ::

Oh gosh, I'm super wide awake right now when I'm supposed to be preparing to sleep 'cos I accidentally fell asleep in the afternoon and when I woke up, 3 hours have gone. The worst feeling was when I realized I've wasted so much time sleeping 'cos I wasn't even planning to get a nap, even if yes, a short one would do. When I woke up the first thing that came into my mind was, shit, I slept. And that was when my SPM study plan paper on the wall was just right in front of me, as if enticing me to drag my body away from the bed and get back to my study table and dig my head into the pile of books. Like what I learned from band motivational camp 3 months ago, setting goals is actually pretty essential in leading you to success according to their analysis on categorizing successful and unsuccessful people. Haha, didn't know how I brought myself to making use of it but I managed to set goals almost every day and I feel at least a little bit more productive than usual. Besides, I also started writing positive quotes that sound motivating enough on post-it papers every day. Will take a photo of all of them before SPM 'cos there would be around 80 post-it papers by then, how amazing? Haha, let's see if I have the patience to do it every day but so far so good ;) ! 

So, this week was a cakey week! On Monday, we celebrated YingYing's birthday whose birthday was during the holidays so we had to make a belated surprise celebration for her. I feel pretty proud 'cos I was the one who came out with an idea of stalling more time for LingHui to prepare the cake and all while I got her waiting for me when I was pooping in the toilet (of course I wasn't pooping, I was literally having the time of my life inhaling the most fragrant ammonia one could ever have). It was great how she didn't suspect anything and that she looked really happy. Hoping that she was happy from the inside too! A little shoutout to YingYing: Happy birthday mua dear friend! Since I've told you so much in the letter and message, I guess you have received whatever that I want to tell you but once again, you've been an amazing friend that never fails to get bombed by my extreme craziness and out-of-no-reason explosion of deafening laughter. We're not heading to the same pathway after high school but let me assure you this, our connection is forever, you wanna bet? Haha :D !

And today, we celebrated YiWai's birthday too! Haha, from what you can see with your very own eyes, wisdom is all over his face and that explains why he's always the top student in our entire form. He's the best person to explain the peribahasa 'diam-diam ubi berisi diam-diam besi berkarat'. He doesn't talk much but his knowledge is around Einstein's level; He doesn't study much but his result flies faster than the flying stars. I don't know, I guess he was born to know everything without even having to approach anything, hah. Another shoutout to this smarty pants: Happy birthday YiWai! I don't talk to you often but at least I'm smart enough to how smart you are. Your chess skills was superb I can never forget how you were known as the undefeatable last year when chess was a craze in our class after finals. Also, I personally find you very talented at teaching 'cos I remember everytime when I had to question you about studies especially during exams when you're only few seats away, you always made sure I got you and that you didn't confuse me. Same goes to everyone in our class! You're modest and genuine, stay the same! 

Neway karaoke night buffet has become so bad I have nothing to say, sob :( .

Mexican chocolate cake with mascarpone frosting that I baked for daddy's birthday on Wednesday. 

Tasted pretty good and yay, time for me to mark a shiny star on my recipe book!

#throwback Last sports day in my life as a Blueie when I was supposed to be a Redie. 

Betrayal? Ah, whatever.

 #2010 Class trip to Kuantan.

What if I say,

I miss myself back then 

When you weren't a part of my life? 

xoxo

:: FAR AS THE SKY ::

Haih, today's already Saturday and I just realized time passes faster than a blink of an eye I think I'm seriously losing breath right now. Feelin' ultimately disappointed in myself for not doing what I have planned earlier, for not taking every day seriously and accomplish something at least but slacked off worse than a giant couch-potato, for regretting everything at the very last minute when I obviously know it's too late to even rewind time back to when I could grasp hold of each and every opportunity to toss my minds of all chaos aside and focus on what's more important ahead. Yea, I'm feeling just as emo as possible that I can draw circles at a corner of my room. It's like, I've never felt like this before. I've never felt how deep has my heart sunk, how mistakes can't be forgiven and forgotten. I guess, what I really need at this point, is time, and another chance to buck up. I don't wanna see myself deteriorate more and more as each day goes by. I've never felt so darn crazy for more time before :( , I really don't wanna see myself failing in achieving my goals. Time, oh time. Haih. 

So, today was an extremely tiring day. Insomnia hit me again and I only slept at 4am or later while I forced myself to sleep with Yiruma's soothing music. Most of the time it would work on me but not yesterday night. I started hating how slow the music went and I don't know why, hahaha. And by the way, I got a new Bach's Prelude and Fugue book during piano class YAYAYAY I'm so happy 'cos that means I have more pieces to try out! After my violin class, I spent the rest of my day with JiaYing and I'm just so glad to have met up with her. Watched The Smurfs 2 and oh my god, it was so damn good! Didn't expect it to be that good 'cos I personally find The Smurfs 1 really disappointing 'cos it was just plain lame and boring. I guess that's why not many people are interested in watching The Smurfs 2 since the previous one let us down. Ahh, just go get your butt in the cinema and watch it, it's worth it, trust me. 

Later, we had dinner at Padi House. I ordered cheese baked pasta with minced beef and it was good, not to say superbly delicious but still good. The best was the Oreo cheesecake that we ordered for our dessert. It was just the right thing to satisfy me best after a great main course, love it! 'Cos I say, checking out clothes is pretty good for digestion, haha. We went trying out clothes like bimbos as usual, oh my oh no, you can't stop us (speaking in the tone of White Chicks). In short, I had a great night with her after a long tiring day. Gotta accept the fact that school is reopening and that I need to get my study schedule started seriously this time. Trials is no joke emily, no joke.

So sorry that the photos aren't in good quality 'cos the lighting there was terribly romantic and I had to edit it a little and my editing skill is this bad, lol. Bear with it la, not like anyone is reading this right HAHA.

Found this somewhere on Facebook 

and you just need to feel like giving Osment a big warm hug :) .

Spot the dream catcher that LingHui made me for my birthday earlier! Woosh.

But I don't wanna wake up from my dream,

because it's the only place where I can see you,

where I can feel you.

xoxo

:: LEGO HOUSE ::

Today's been a really hot day and I feel that I smell worse than garlic and ginger, ewe, haha excellent description. I slept at around 5am last night and god knows what I was doing. I don't know, I just can't sleep. A part of me wished I used up that period of time to study 'cos I haven't touched anything so far when trials is in less than one month's time and SPM in around, 80 days? Yea, basically time is running out for real this time but I just can't pull myself out from all the bullshit that I'm facing lately. Haih, but I do hope God sends me down ultimate power to alter all my concentration towards the mountains of books that I never want to approach but hey Emily, it's time to face the reality, SPM IS SERIOUSLY COMING (checks calendar). 

So, what was I even doing late at night? Or rather, early in the morning? At first I was reading Timothy Tiah's blog and was feeling contented that Baby Fighter and Audrey are doing just fine after all the ups and downs that almost have put Audrey's life into high risk of having stroke, then I came across Yina Goh's blog and read about her extraordinarily brusque wedding proposal, and then i stumbled upon Best Vines page and just had the time of my life watching all the videos that didn't make sense at all but somehow managed to make me laugh like moohaha, LOL. In the end, out of curiosity I just wanted to check out more about Miley Cyrus 'cos recently she's been acting a little too wild and that her music video for We Can't Stop was dayum ahem, haha in short it just makes you want to have the old Miley Cyrus back. And from that, I stumbled upon an article saying how she was commented ugly by Amanda Bynes and that was how I noticed that Amanda Bynes has been going through hard time recently taking in drugs, umpteen surgeries and posting offensive tweets on twitter (yea you should totally check out her twitter because somehow I got quite entertained that I couldn't sleep, haha). I was pretty shocked how much she has changed 'cos I used to like her a lot especially when She's The Man was such a big hit during primary school and that she looked really compatible with Channing Tatum. Haih, I feel so sad for that and by looking at her current photos looking as bad as a corpse, looking all unkempt and abnormal, here we watch another meltdown of a child star, just like Lindsay Lohan. 

As I was looking through my pictures just now, I found these and I think I should blog about it to show off HAHA. So for our class decoration competition, we did have high hopes that we would win but we ended up getting 0.5 mark lesser than the champion that was once again being swept off by Sigma. Nevertheless, I feel that the process was much more important than the outcome of the result 'cos quite rarely did our class unite as one aiming for the same goal. LingHui and Ryan both contributed the most and I think they deserve a a round of applause for that considering how much midnight oil they have burnt just for our class. I didn't do as much as they did but I'm also proud to say that I helped out with the cutting, pasting, header-writing and not to forget, *drum rolls* I did the Educational Decrees all by myself! I enjoyed doing it albeit having to stay up late for a few nights 'cos they look pretty cute on the wall just behind where I sit every day, hah. So, they're supposed to be our class rules and as you can see quite obviously, our theme was Harry Potter and yea you just need to think of Professor Umbridge when you talk about potter rules! Scroll down for photos and go on, go on, get fascinated all you want HEH. 

Went to my mom's office yesterday before going to the dentist to remove my oral stitches. Ahh, you cannot understand how I feel once the stitches were being removed 'cos out of a sudden I felt that my gum wasn't so tensed up anymore because there weren't any stitches holding in between! Now I still have one more appointment left with my orthodontist and I will not have to go for all these teeth-related appointments anymore, can't wait, but feeling a little heavy-hearted knowing that I might not be able to see my orthodontist again :( . Haha, enough about teeth. Here are some nice foods from Fougasse boulangerie & pastisserie. 

Well you know how much I love posting up photos of foods ;) . Want some coffee?

Here's to seeing how my hair curls up like a guitar rockstar's after one whole day of bunbun. 

'Cos you know,

laughing at everything in life

and acting like you're happier than anyone alive

is the most painful thing one can ever do. 

xoxo

:: STARLIGHT TEARS ::

Yesterday night was awful. When the obedient side of me decided to reveal itself, something, SOMETHING just had to stop it. I headed to bed at around 12.30am while others were desperately waiting for the meteor shower because I never believed in such news. Not that it wasn't proven or what but yeah, it's just me. Plus, why make a wish during the meteor shower when I can make a wish upon the stars that I see almost every day? Haha. So I guess insomnia hit me last night and I couldn't sleep at all. For once I wanted to sleep 'cos I figured I should get prepared with some energy boost the next day for some hardcore Chemistry revision but gosh, I hadn't felt so mad for such a long time already and last night it just decided to break my record. At around 3am, the mosquitoes in my room that I didn't even notice before I flicked off the lights gave me extreme itchiness until it got superbly intolerant, I just had to get myself out of bed for some human-mosquito war. My friends tend to always say that I have potential to be a professional mosquito killer 'cos I aim quite perfectly all the time and yes, I managed to kill 3 mosquitoes that were gleefully flying around my room. THREE OKAY THREE. Biggest enemies, ever. 

Thanks to the mosquitoes. I seemed to have completely waken up from the temptation to sleep early. One was because I got really wide awake with an adrenaline rush just like the song and another because it wasn't early anymore, zzz. As my tummy started growling like nobody's business, I kept trying to put my mind into someplace else so that it wouldn't tempt me for food 'cos I was hell lazy to walk down. Plus, I supposed I got all the nice foods eaten and the foods left weren't really favourable. Nevertheless, I got into much worse situation not being able to sleep because of the extreme hunger, so I figured it was time for some hot milo and biscuits. Out of milo, wasn't really expected since my house was never out of milo. I had to drink hot chocolate in the end that made me ten times more awake, but oh well who cares man. I was that mad, really. When I was done with eating, it was already around 5am and I could feel the foods rolling in my tummy. And that was when I started feeling regretful for eating 'cos my tummy was feeling so bloated that I could puke anytime. Hence, I wrote a lyric with the tune of Adele's rolling in the deep. Not very intriguing but worth a try, lol. Lifeless like that, period. 

Regret eating and rolling in the deep

While the thoughts of having more foods start to creep

I need someone lovely to feed me

While I watch all the fats start to grow from my hip

The foods are massive

Super seductive

I just can't stand it if I need to see them leave

The foods are my love

I always get hurt

Because I know it

I shouldn't have eaten so much

Can't resist the crisp and crunch

Feel that I need a strong punch

So that the foods can stop it

Can stop it

Stop rolling in the deep

Speaking of food,

dinner on Sunday with ze sister and WenHui was crazily spontaneous again, hah.

And hi,

a morning smile from yours truly. 

Feeling great after an awful night, pftsh.

And it's telling me it might be you
It's telling me it must be you
And I'm feeling it'll just be you
All of my life

xoxo

:: FOREVER AND ALMOST ALWAYS ::

Happy Saturday peeps! I actually quite like the fact that I sound like I'm talking to myself 'cos I understand how nobody reads my blog anymore but oh well, at least I still find blogging really fun, hah. Days after the surgery couldn't go any worse. I've been eating just too much of porridge I feel that I'm currently lacking some essential nutrients 'cos I sleep a lot these days! Yesterday was the worst day by far. The family and I went to my gramma's house and my relatives couldn't stop asking me if I stayed up to friggin' study 'cos all I did there was sleep. Somehow the pain has spread to the entire left part of my head that I could even feel a tingle in my left eye, and that also caused my head to throb like shit. I actually brought my works there to finish, especially all the loathsome piles of Chinese works that I've been piling up for weeks, but I seriously couldn't bring myself up to do some serious work 'cos I was in horrendous paaaaain. God knows how long would I still need to bear with all these nightmares :( . 

Besides all those pain that I'm facing right now, I also have another problem that I've been quite worried of since last year but never dared to tell anyone. Since this blog is pretty much like my personal blog that nobody reads anymore, I shall just voice out what's been troubling me a lot. In around June last year, my back started to give me real shit 'cos I felt that I couldn't sit or stand with my normal posture. I felt so uncomfortable while having to stay static (especially during meditation in yoga class) 'cos a part of my back would be giving me a feeling that it was bending more to one side. I was a little bit scared at first 'cos I know myself, I care a lot about my posture and I'm definitely not someone who stays in front of the monitor and cares less even if my back starts to hunch. I didn't bother to tell anyone, especially my parents, 'cos I'm sure they would start lecturing me for staying in front of the laptop for too long, or that I would have to go for a checkup and the result would say I have an 'S' shape backbone like what you normally see on newspapers (I know I'm just being paranoid and all but you will never understand how much of discomfort I'm feeling almost every day with it). Also, I never like to tell people about my own predicaments until it gets so serious that it's too late to be solved, hell yeah stubborn is my middle name, but I was born this way.

So recently, I feel that my left hand is no longer as flexible as how it used to be and I feel that everything's connected. My back, and my left hand. My left hand is so tensed up recently that at times, it starts shivering when I give too much work on it. The reason why I started all this crap is because of my music classes just now. During piano class, I couldn't do good rotations on my left hand and I played crap. I got a little moody after that 'cos I felt that I couldn't control my left hand anymore. And during violin class, I couldn't do good vibrato and teacher had to emphasize so many times to me about having to relax my left hand 'cos my vibratos were all very stiff. Haih, I don't know what's wrong with all of these but every day I have the same wish, that is to get over with all these discomforts. It's been one year and dear blog, give me some wise advice? 

On the first day of Raya, my dad spontaneously suggested for a one-day trip to Bukit Tinggi early in the morning. Was feeling extremely groggy and lethargic 'cos I didn't have a good night sleep that night due to the pain but hey, Aquarians love surprises the most! I love having spontaneous plans, hah. During our journey, I got really sick of being stuck at the same place for hours 'cos the jam was yeah, that bad. Should have known that first day of Raya would cause such terrible congestion but oh well, daddy didn't bother why should I? To be frank, Bukit Tinggi was GOD DAMN BORING and I will never ever go there again. I mean, hey Malaysia has such beautiful place why can't the government invest more on it or put in more effort on improving it? Colmar Tropicale has got nothing inside even the desserts that we had in Boulangerie were terrible. My sister commented that the tiramisu cakes I made could go way beyond the level of the ones we had there. Bad, bad, bad. However, I seemed to be having tons of fun in the photos! Haha, always have to look good in photos even when my boredom is at the maximum level kay ;) .

Baked tiramisu cupcakes on Wednesday while having terribly swollen eyes and slightly swollen left cheek.

After baking for gazillion times, tiramisu cupcakes are still the ones that consume the most time. 

However, the outcome never disappoints me! Love them :) !

And you know when you can't sleep in the middle of the night, 

pampering yourself with some nice soothing music and some origami paper works 

is a heart's contentment filled.

While I watch your shadow burn in the dark, 

I hear the echo of your voice behind.

I look at myself in the mirror

and notice that all I'm left with is your ashes,

and a terribly torn heart of mine.

xoxo